Hope

Last night I went to see Tom and was able to open up about my hurts, anger, frustration, disappointment, hope, love, family. Overall it was really good. Time flew so fast. I'm not gonna go into detail everything we talked about but one of my favorite pictures (cause I'm a visual learner) is that I'm holding onto a dead battery and it was time to put that down and pick up a new battery. The old battery had life when I first picked it up but now it's done. And the new battery I pick up won't feel so heavy because of the life in it. So I'm excited. I've been so done with teaching the 4 year old and younger group. I've tried to quit on different occasions and was never released to do so. I still have to talk to Laurie which makes me nervous, even though she's really nice. I don't like to disappoint anyone, or put extra pressure on them. 

I'm really excited about all the changes going on at church. Tim was listening to this past weeks CD and even though some of the music levels weren't CD quality, he said it felt like it was a conference, not a Sunday morning. Things are looking good! I'm excited about painting the youth room. I'm so happy that I've gotten so much support on people wanting to help out with the bake sale. I'm excited to take the 101 that I've been wanting to take for soooooo long! "The Art of Hearing God" I like that. Everything that's happening is great. There's more freedom in so many different aspects. I love how every Sunday is not like the last. Going where God is. Not putting Him in a box. 

I definitely still have hurts to work through but I know with God and the support of my family and friends I'll get to the other side of that. 

I feel so much better knowing that I can talk to Jay, The Urenas or T without guilt or being scared. It still feels very weird. It's been a long time. 

For so long I've felt like I'm always doing something wrong, and not doing enough and I still go through days where that's overwhelming, but I think I'm going to even get through that! 

It's a great feeling. Hope. 

174 results from the word hope in the NIV

Here's just one - 

Psalm 31:24
Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the LORD.

I had to look up take heart: "gain courage"

So that is my prayer today. That I will keep my hope in God and by doing so, I will gain strength and courage. 

I love new beginnings and fresh hope. 

It's feeling good.