I wrote this & Posted it in a book club group I'm a part of this Summer but wanted to remember it (and if anyone feels inspired to try it out) so I'm re-posting it into this blog.
Just wanted to share a little tonight. My boys have been fighting (which I know is normal for siblings) but it was starting to become excessive and about the silliest things. After another night following a whole day of bickering I finally snapped & blew up. Once I got it back together I sat down with all of them at the kitchen table completely blank on how to deal with it in an effective way. I kept praying internally asking what to do and after a few thoughts that didn't stick I thought of the priority list what we did with our husbands. I took a deep breath, got a notebook and pencil and wrote everyone's names down (including my own) and numbered it 1-5 twice under each name. The first list we went around and shared what is important to us, what makes us feel loved, valued etc. (this included playing together, getting tucked in and prayed with at night, hugs, food haha etc.) Since we did it together, they all heard each other and saw what was important and how they could show each other love...and how I could as well. Then I took it a step further and asked them to name 5 things each that make them feel hurt/sad/angry. This included getting yelled at, being ignored, having to repeat themselves, getting laughed at etc. After each person spoke their lists out I re-read them to stress what hurts them and how we can all try not to do the things on the bottom list and try to do more things on the top list. It took a while to do the whole thing but the whole atmosphere changed, everyone's attitudes improved and everyone was more open and softer (including myself) I hugged each of them and apologized for all the ways I hurt them in the bottom list and then told them I was on their side and wanted them to be happy and how much I loved them. They all apologized to each other as well and ever since things have been so much more peaceful.
