In high school I would sit in my bedroom and just write and write and write. I would jot down some poems or lyrics to a tune I made up in my head. Granted these were the years of feeling deeply, getting hurt, feeling sad and alone but it came so effortlessly.
After I got pregnant at 16 the shame that I felt about myself made it hard to do a lot of things that I had no problem doing before. Writing poems and music was one of them (along with singing)
It's like I packed everything I once felt free doing in a box and taped it up.
Giving into and feeding: Shame + Fear + Insecurity = Nothing Good!
It was really rough. I lost a sense of who I was and gave up on things that I was once good at. There were times I literally looked in the mirror and didn't recognize myself.
Fast forward 8-9 years and here I am about to post a song I wrote one night after the youth group came to our house. I was just playing and singing some random things and this is what stuck.
When I first posted this on youtube a few months ago I felt all those same feelings that I dealt with majorly rise up. But I clicked "post" and there was no going back. It was freeing and I hope to do a lot more of that! It's simple but it's a good place to start!
2 comments:
You've found the treasure chest, Candice. Thanks for unpacking it and sharing the love. Beautiful!
I love you! <3 MamaDonna
Amazing, Candice. I had no idea you had such a beautiful voice. I love the song too...so sweet and heartfelt. PLEASE keep it up....You have been through a lot, and this song is a way to stomp on the shame and guilt and other nasty stuff that doesn't belong to you.
Incredible. Thank you so much. You have really given something important of yourself with this.
Jen
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