A [beautiful] Work in Progress: writing

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Lock & Key

http://www.flickr.com/photos/chamille/3648014607/

It's hard trying to work things out on here especially when I know people can take a peak at what I'm in the middle of processing. I started blogging mostly as a personal journal that I left unlocked. But since it's no secret that people are taking a peak at the things that I'm writing, it effects the way I get my words out.

I wanted to write and be real with everything that goes on inside of me because I really believe that as you share a part of yourself, it can help heal someone else. The more open and honest people have been with me, the more open and honest I was able to be with them...and myself. And it's been a freeing experience.

But on the other hand, I know I need to be sensitive to the fact that not everyone wants that for themselves. I also have to keep in mind that some of the things I go through are between me and others and not everything needs to be out in the open. Especially when I'm hurt or mad haha. I can't take words back... especially when it's right here on the world wide web...world wide.. that's craziness. I think it's more mature to deal with that kind of stuff one on one - person to person and if you really need to write before you talk to them - that's what paper is for. It burns & shreds easily :)

So yeaaaa... these are things I think about as I journal publicly. I want to inspire honesty and transparency and I don't want to filter the thoughts that come through my head even though I know I'm handing you the key.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

It's a Cold Cold Day...

Here are the thoughts I started writing out today that will hopefully transform into a full song someday soon. Ready for some run on sentences and rambling? Ok........ I was sitting on my couch looking out the window at all the snow thinking how cold it was which made me think of my dad and how much he hates the winter. And then I thought about how much my mom loves the sun which then lead to me thinking of them together and how much they've gone through and are still going through and how crappy everything's been for a while.

Sooooo I started singing this: [while I played F & C] [and I think a little Am]

"It's a cold cold day, It's a cold cold day, It's a cold cold day & I'm missing the sun"

And then I just started singing whatever I was thinking about - no rhyming necessary haha

When I was singing the first line over and over I knew sun could be a play on words for 'son' - Jesus - son of God. And then I thought about life experiences and how I know I wasn't the only one who felt... well actually DIDN'T feel Jesus at certain times of life even though I know He's always there. And it was kind of a sad moment. I then started singing "I miss the warmth of Your embrace" And as I was singing I thought about seasons and seeds and being underground...It was a whole lot of pictures and feelings and emotions. Too many at once that I couldn't organize my thoughts fast enough. I recorded every jumbled thing that came out of my mouth into my handy dandy iphone and then listened back and jotted it down in my notebook.

And that's where this status came from:

"Contemplating cold cold dark alone hidden days - covering & protection and missing the sun/son's warmth but seeing a glimpse of a bigger picture and the beauty of each season. I already feel warmer on this cold cold day..."

I started looking through winter and spring pictures on-line and came up with a visual outline to try and organize my thoughts and things I wrote down in my notebook and I posted them on this blog. Now I'm back here filling in the different thoughts and words that came out when I was playing guitar and singing.

I know it's a lot to scroll down but if you want to see more of the process, scroll on down!

It's a cold cold day 3x

& I'm missing the sun [son]