Where is the love??

Yea so I actually have been thinking about this topic A LOT. And I was thinking about how people may have the greatest education, everything in their lives under 'control', never smoked, drank, you know those baaaaad things....but if they have no compassion on those who have been there or are going through it....what good is their gooood stuff???? 

OF COURSE I am NOT saying it's ok... I know I want the best for the people around me and usually it doesn't involve those bad things and involves more of those good things. 

So I guess what I am saying could be summed up in the whole 1 Corinthians 13 scripture...especially the first part...

 If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.  If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing.  If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing. (NLT) (yes I like to jump from translation to translation to some of the most simple words because it's easy to get the point across I guess)

1 John 4:20-21 (Contemporary English Version)

But if we say we love God and don't love each other, we are liars. We cannot see God. So how can we love God, if we don't love the people we can see? The commandment that God has given us is: "Love God and love each other!"

I do not know why I am writing about this all. And I feel like I'm failing because I'm angry at those who do not 'love'...so I am not loving...the very thing that I want, I'm not giving out. 

Tonight as I was driving I just got this urge to SCREAAAAAAM!!!! I'm so tired so following rules and trying to always do the right thing and ALWAYS failing. I just want to stop everything and still be loved. (which again in my head I am...doesn't get much deeper then that) 

I know what it's like to screw up and be a mess. I'm a living mess. But I do love...but I do judge...those who judge the 'bad' or me hahahaha. So I'm doing wrong AGAIN. 

This is a stupid stupid cycle that I just want to stop right now. 

I just want my love to overflow and flow and flow and just like bring happiness to people including myself. (like one big fairy tale...la la laaaaa) Wow...I love to love. But I want to feel love.  

And I need to feel my head against a pillow before I write some more craziness...but freal...

Love...It's important...I need more of it. I want to give more of it away and I think everyone cold use some more as well...

Where is the Love... hahahaha