Gestational Diabetes Frustration Vent

How do you not have your day start crappy when you wake up and have to test your sugar levels and you see the number 99 when that number should read less than 90? I don't know how to continue on my day and not be constantly thinking on what more I can be doing, or adjusting to change that. The past week my numbers have been great including my fasting numbers so I was really optimistic and hopeful that I wouldn't have to shoot insulin before bed. I'm walking at least 30 mins a day (some days faster & longer than others) Then I have days like the last 2 where I wake up and my fasting numbers are high. It completely puts me in a funk for the day and I think of all the things I could be doing wrong. I have my appointment tomorrow and I really don't want to be put on insulin but if my numbers continue to stay at 98-99 when I wake up that's exactly what they're going to want to do for the health of Noelan and myself. Of course I want to do what's best but I feel so defeated and frustrated. I really really try not to whine and complain about pregnancy stuff because it comes with the territory. I'm just at the end of my rope and I feel like I can't get the hang of this diet thing. I followed the carb counting and spacing to the T and I was 400 calories under where they wanted me so I get lectured on that but I didn't feel deprived and I still wake up with high numbers, then there's days where I feel like all I'm eating is foods high in fat (nuts, cheese etc) and my calories for the day are 400 over and that doesn't change my numbers either. My back is in constant pain, some days worse than others and I still push myself to exercise more....and I STILL wake up with high fasting numbers and I can't help but think of how much I hate this and how stressful this is. I don't know how to just let it go and go with the flow even if that means shooting insulin. Im trying not to think of all the medical bills piling up because of this I just don't understand how one week my numbers are exactly where they should be and then the next, the fasting numbers are high again. Ahhhhh I hate this so much. I guess I'll see what happens at my appointment tomorrow morning and if they're still concerned with my fasting numbers and I have to be put on insulin. I just want Noelan out now, but I don't want to rush it because I don't want even more complications. God Help Me... help me.