So I think I did it again. Shrugged things off as not a big deal, tried not to take offense or get hurt in the process of every day life and ended up with a tangled pile of mess inside my head and heart. I can tell you what set my mood off & I can tell you once I'm able to figure out what's really going on inside of me I'll be better again. But how do I untangle the overwhelming mess of emotions and thoughts on top of my everyday life and responsibilities? Some of the things that hurt me seem like they shouldn't even matter. When I talk to Tim about what's going on and I hear it out loud I think to myself "is that REALLY the issue?"
What took me from having a normal day to extreme anger and sadness. Hormones?
I laughed at myself because the day I was feeling upset I was having crazy mood swings the majority of the day - favoring on the side of anger - and then I talked to Tim and felt good and then I started crying and immediately checked my menstrual cycle app on my phone while I was crying and THEN started laughing at myself for checking if I was PMSing (which according to the calendar I'm not?) so I was laughing AND crying. And it makes you feel crazy! Women.
As we were laying in bed about to go to sleep, I told Tim that I could see that there's a thin line between laughing and crying because I was cracking up over something else and started to feel the sadness about who knows what inside bubble up and it could've totally overflowed out of me but I held it in because I would've felt crazy again. Tim replies "I think that would be so funny if you cried after laughing so hard!" Men.
All kidding aside...I feel pretty ok today. But I can tell you that there's something a little off inside of me so to end the post I'll share this:
My brother called the other night and we were talking about people in general and I said "I love people, but I don't like them - I think we get that from dad".
It all comes down to the fact that relationships are messy.
But I know the good parts of it make it so worth it.
Nowwww onto backtracking and trying to untangle this mess inside of me...
2 comments:
nice ^^
Jewelia Marie yeah relationships are messy and worth going through that tunnel with the right people. But it takes two to have a real relationship. I don't easily give up on people, that is my problem. But I am learning the in the school of hard knocks. lol literally ha ha
March 3 at 2:35pm · Like
Ginnie Grupinski you blog should be titled..."A Beautiful Work in Progress" but I know that you are not prideful and would never do that. so I renamed it for you. thanks for sharing your heart and struggles with the world.
March 3 at 2:36pm · Like · 1 person
Jewelia Marie Hey a beautiful work in progress would not be prideful, that's what Candice is lol
March 3 at 2:39pm · Like · 1 person
Candice Rose Fowler haha thanks guys :)
March 3 at 2:40pm · Like
Tom Zawacki another vote for "A Beautiful Work In Progress" - I think you're amazing!
March 3 at 2:42pm · Unlike · 2 people
Jewelia Marie K candice you need to change the title to that lol I wike it
March 3 at 2:44pm · Like · 1 person
Patricia Armstrong Komnick Yes relationships are messy but the one thing that I have to remember on this journey we call life is that we are not the only one who has had hurts and pain and traumatic events ,so i have to remember that the other people in my relationships also have things to work through and give them grace like so many people have given me at times in my life, I hope that makes sense...
March 3 at 2:58pm · Like
Patricia Armstrong Komnick Candice I agree your blog should be called "A Beautiful Work in Progress" you already are Beautiful!!
March 3 at 2:59pm · Like · 1 person
Ginnie Grupinski my meaning above was that Candice would think it was prideful but she is not at all. am I confusing my point even more?
March 3 at 3:02pm · Like
Ginnie Grupinski Patti, I love it that you are sharing your heart today! Happy Birthday tomorrow; you are already celebrating!
March 3 at 3:03pm · Unlike · 2 people
Jewelia Marie your good Gin we love you
March 3 at 3:04pm · Like
Candice Rose Fowler I got what you were saying Ginny and you know me well :)
However the new blog title is growing on me now
Patti - That's exactly what helps me forgive people - knowing that they've been through things just like I go through things.
We're all human. We're all BEAUTIFUL works in progress haha
And thank you everyone again :)
March 3 at 3:47pm · Like
Patricia Armstrong Komnick We love you Candice!!
March 3 at 3:48pm · Like · 1 person
Jewelia Marie I love the new blog title lol Go for it Candice, it is who you are 8-) Even in the mess you are beautiful and shine through..I see you all the time, even through my own mess lol
March 3 at 3:50pm · Like
Donna L. Fowler Candice, You are HIS MASTERPIECE in process. ♥
March 3 at 11:14pm · Like
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