So much more

I've been thinking a lot lately. About life, where I'm at, what I'm doing, why I'm doing things, what's next?, how do I get there? It kinda just spins around in my head and everything isn't clear. I actually just tried to break those things down right here but I erased it because I just kept thinking of the bigger picture.

Let me get straight to it. I'm to the point where I just want to scream. I know there's SO MUCH MORE and I don't fully know how to get there. I am completely thankful that I'm married to an amazing man who loves and takes care of me, have 3 wild and crazy beautiful boys who never make life boring, we own the only house on a dead end street, we have two cars, all that's missing is the white picket fence and the dog haha. Our life isn't extravagant but we have everything we need and SO MUCH MORE. So why do I say there's so much more?

Because there is. I'm not striving for a bigger house, cooler cars, huge savings account and what not. Of course I would love to have those things and totally wouldn't turn it down if we get there haha. But in the end I just want to get to know God as much as I can in the time that I have. I want to have crazy awe-some experiences. I want to learn to hear Him even when I'm not listening. I want to see things the way He sees them. I want to express my love freely to him and receive freely. I want to cut through all the organized religion and meetings and really know where I should be on a Monday morning, Thursday afternoon, Sunday evening. I want to build up my husband and pour into my kids because I know as a unit we can really make an impact on those that are around us. I want to Love and Love and Love and Love and LOVE. & I want to be loved.

Ugh and I feel so frustrated and stuck. There's so many really good things that I'm doing with my life & SO MUCH MORE I can work on.

I want You Jesus.

I'm annoyed with all the lingo and hype that can come with "christianity"

I want You Jesus.

You are everything and SO MUCH MORE