Reconciliation

Tonight I went to Phil and Patti's celebration for having their own church building. I definitely feel more freedom now. As I walked up the stairs of the old fire station building and began to see familiar faces, I was just so happy. I felt like we picked up right where we left off. There's definitely been a lot we missed out between the years on both sides but it doesn't have to be that way anymore. 

I didn't feel like crying there, but as I sit at home, I just feel such a mix of joy and sorrow. It was great to see them where they're supposed to be. Leading, worshiping, encouraging. On the other hand, all that time of no contact, and hurts and everything - it's not even fun to think about. I really know that everyone is full of pain and if they don't deal with it appropriately it can be very bad not to just them, but to those around them. 

I know for myself, the hurts and pain from my past whether it be father issues, shame, the self-hatred...it all stems from somewhere. And if I ignore it, it will come out in other areas of my life until I face up to it and let God do the work in me. I know I can't do it on my own - been there done that (but I know that I still keep trying) Will I learn? I don't know. I hope so. 

I want to be as healthy as possible - functioning in love and compassion, grace and understanding. It's "a work in progress".

 

I noticed there were more people around my age and I definitely would love to get to know them all. I'm pretty sure they have meetings on Wednesday nights. And now that kinships will be closed for the Summer maybe I can finally go. It is only like 3-4 mins away : )

I love worshiping with other people and other places. I will always love "The Bridge - Long Island" and know that's where I'm meant to be for now. But I know we won't be there forever. Who knows if we may not even be in NY some day. Only God. I'm so happy with what God is doing in my life and with the church. I'm excited with the new direction and the weight I've been carrying for so long. 

I pray that there would be full reconciliation on every end. That all the hurts and pain over the years would be healed and that there would be forgiveness and new beginnings. Thank you for dying for us Jesus - for alllllll of us! Protect this new season. Guard our hearts from bitterness and judgement. I pray that we all would be able to move into the new season that God is bringing us into. Jesus, I just love you so much and I thank you for everything in my life. You have blessed me more then I could ever ever ever express! Thank You! You are an awesome God. Keep working in me. I want to walk out the fullness of my destiny. I want to complete the work you're doing in me. I know it's been hard and there will be  more hard times but I ask that you would give me the grace to lean completely on You. You are the only one that can fully help me. I love you. Bless this season. I love you Lord!

“Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.”- Romans 12:10