God, Help me. 

Pebble in a Lake

I thought this was so interesting... 

I found it on Jason Mraz's Myspace Blog and he made this note:

"Do you think the people on the outside of the dance mass have any idea that there is a jaunty little fellow in the middle who inspired it all? Drop a pebble in a lake and eventually the ripples go beyond what you’re capable of seeing. If you can touch, move, or inspire just one person in your lifetime, it will have a powerful impact on the world. 

Live knowing that your extraordinary actions will still be resonating across that lake for 7 generations and then some. "

Even though it's kind of weird to watch, and Jason isn't some "philosopher" , it still made me think about my own life and affecting those around me by just living life. 

I want to be free and not care what people are thinking or saying about me. I want to impact those around me - bring freedom to their life as well as mine. (of course, I alone can't do that...But with God I can) But I know you can affect one person at a time. 

I really just like watching that and thinking about the words that Jason Mraz wrote. I think I'm going to think about it some more...

and end with the only part of the lyrics I liked of that song... "I got to be Unstoppable"

Result: Philosopher.

I always take those Facebook surveys just to see if there's anything in the result that I can relate to. I took the "Who are you...really" one and I thought the result was pretty right on:

"You constantly analyze the deeper meaning of all that occurs in your life. You are on a never-ending journey to find your purpose in life. You are able to see through the surface of situations and the facades that people often carry. You are observant and non-judgmental. Your creative and thoughtful mind enhances your chosen and natural talents. You feel deeply and passionately about everything that you do. Your life is about the pursuit of knowledge, understanding, and answers. You have a great depth to your heart and mind that some may find intimidating and others will be drawn to."

Just like this blog is titled and what I say ALLLLL the time "I'm a work in progress" ---> my never-ending journey to not just find my purpose but to reach the FULLNESS of my destiny. I try to be as real as possible and I like when other's are real to me. I really do try to be as non-judgmental as possible because I've been through a lot and I know we're all messed up in one way or another (as negative as that sounds) We're saved by grace...not by being good and "holy". I definitely feel deeply and that's part of why I can't handle things at times. I am passionate : ) About Tim, my boys, my church family, the youth, my friends, my large extended family. And I definitely would love to gain wisdom and understanding because I know if I do, then everything else comes with it (like Solomon) 

I'm pleased overall with these results : )

Be Still...

“Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”- Psalm 46:10

That's a reallllly hard thing for me to do. My mind is always going. I'm easily distracted with what I "should be" or "want to be" doing. Of course once I actually get through all that, it's actually my favorite place to be. 

So I think tonight after hopefully talking to Sharayah through Skype, I'll do some Art of Hearing God HW and then just be still and know that He is God haha. 

I have a lot going on - good and bad. But I've been focusing and trusting God and what a different feeling that is! I like it a lot. 

Thank You God for providing throughout the years and even now, I know that you have everything under control. Help me to keep trusting in Your provision and help. Thank You so much for this new season. Help me to grow more in this next year. I thank you for our church, I thank you for restoration and new friends. I thank you for my amazing family. Thank you for a home we can call our own. Thank you that we can put our trust in You and you never break that trust. I Love You. 

It's Worth It - Looking Back & Ahead

As I was on the phone with the hospital trying to figure out a payment plan to pay off the $4000 of new medical bills from Caleb's surgery, the blog I posted below came to mind. (I wrote it on myspace last year) I thought about the van and made a mental note that we haven't had any problems with it lately... WELL! ha! ...Tim called me on his way home asking to look up our warranty information for the $4000 (maybe even more now that's I'm thinking) transmission we had worked on Oct 2007. I couldn't find the paper so I called up Lee Myles to look up the information and we are just 1000 over the miles. That's like 2.5 weeks of driving for us! Man! So our warranty is VOID : ( The worst part about this is the fact that all this happened on Tim's birthday. I felt horrible. There was nothing I could do, but pray for him and the situation. I kept thinking about the blog after the fact and I have a feeling that it didn't just randomly pop into my head. I think it was to prepare my heart and attitude for what we were about to go through. What a day! So I'm trusting God will pull through, like He ALWAYS does! And I'm just keeping that communication with Him open.  And Hey, Thanks for giving me a heads up, up there haha. 


April 3, 2008 - Thursday 
It’s Worth It
Current mood:  hopeful 
Category: Life
I just wanted to say hi to the people that actually read my blogs. 

Right now, I’m feeling ok - nothing great nothing too horrible...

There’s always going to be things that go wrong
Cars need repairs, Medical Bills need payments
There’s always going to be people that hurt us
offend us, reject us, betray us

But if you focus on the good things of the day, thing’s don’t seem so bad
There’s always ups and downs in life - I should know. 
Whenever there seems to be no hope
It’s always just around the corner
So because of past experiences I know to just keep looking forward, looking up

Because my car will get fixed, my bills will get paid (sooner or later)
There is forgiveness and restoration for people
And that’s a lot to look forward to. 

So even when it feels like there’s nothing to look forward to
And it seems like there’s no way out 
Just think about the things you’re going through
And even if it’s hard where you’re at - 
It’s just a matter of time until you’re on the other side of things

You can look back and think "That was a rough time but it’s done"
And I know it makes us stronger and wiser
I’ve definitely learned lessons over time - And I’m still learning

If I can just think about the things I’m going through now and know
"I can give hope/encouragement to people that are going through similar situations"
When I’m on the other side - It’ll be worth it...

It’s Worth It

The Bubbles!

I totally forgot to write about this. But it's something I will never forget. 

This past Sunday, in the middle of worship I began seeing the little kids in the front start blowing bubbles. My first reaction was "oh no, where did Caleb get that from, it's distracting, I'm going to get in trouble, I need to go back to the back" but when I turned around I saw that other people had them...and who was passing them out? Tom and Nadine. When Tom handled me my own I began to cry (to myself and not long) 

It broke something in me. It's OK to have fun during worship? Yea!!! It's ok to have freedom to laugh and smile? Yea! It's ok that the kids are having fun running and popping bubbles? Yea! It's ok to change things up Sunday mornings? Yea!! It's ok not to be so serious and stressed out during worship? Yes yes yes! 

That helped me so much, I feel much free-er. Even when Caleb started running down the hall without his underwear, I didn't get embarrassed. Of course I don't want him doing that. And granted I wasn't right there to handle it, Tim was. But still - My boys are definitely wild at heart. I don't have it all together. Never will. But I can continue to move towards freedom and love. And that will rub off on them in a positive way. Hey wasn't David undignified? 

I'll have to keep that in mind for next time. Maybe I'll have the same attitude haha. 

Freeeeeeeeeeedom!!! (and Fun & Love!)

It's a great thing!

Gentleness

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”- Proverbs 15:1

Gentleness
1. Considerate or kindly in disposition; amiable and tender.
2. Not harsh or severe; mild and soft: (a gentle scolding; a gentle tapping at the window.)
3. Easily managed or handled; docile: (a gentle horse)

Yesterday I was thinking on how I communicate with my kids. I'm constantly yelling at them. I realized that if I spoke the way I spoke to them to someone else (Husband, Mom, Siblings, Friends...etc.) I would feel HORRIBLE. So why is it ok to speak to my kids that way? 

It's not. I was reading the fruits of the spirit last night and Gentleness is one I ALWAYS forget. I know I have it deep down inside me. I really don't want to hurt anyone and I want to be tender and considerate. 

And I'm realizing after I looked up the definition of gentleness that it said easily managed...If I'm easily managed towards God then I will bloom in all my fruits of the spirit - especially gentleness. I started taking the Art of Hearing God last night. FINALLLLLLYYY!!!! : ) 

I'm looking forward to learning and growing as much as possible. I know it's not an 'easy' class. But it's definitely worth going through. And I love my teachers and classmates - that makes it even better!